A Journey Beyond The Logical Mind

Salam to all.

Lately I feel so bengong. Orang cakap angguk je. Malas nak membalas. Lebih senang menerima. Terima je lah. Senang, tak payah pikir. Eishhhhh!!! Mesti aku ni nampak mcm lalang yang hanya ikut angin. Orang pressure sket dah tukar fikiran. BENCI! Kenapa tak boleh lawan? Kenapa tak nak lawan? Kenapa aku biar orang tolak aku sana sini? BENCI. Geram. Geram dengan diri sendiri. Geram dengan certain people. Ye, aku tau, dia pun geram kat aku kot. Obviously. Duh. Whatever la weyh, aku dah nak trial dah. Kenapa aku tak leh pressure orang mcm orang pressure aku? Aku tak paham kenapa aku kena jadi BAIK SANGAT nak ikut je. Sampai diri sendiri pun tak nak defend. Asyik asyik 'emm.. ok..' je ayat yang keluar dari mulut. Kenapa aku jadi lemah bila orang tinggikan suara?
Sunyi. Sunyi sekarang. Mana boleh cerita kat daddy, kat mummy. Ni bende remeh temeh je. Nanti kena marah balik kot. Sebab tak focus. Sebab tak ada keberanian. Ye, aku kena berani. Diorang tu pun lebih kurang aku je. Kenapa aku kena rasa low self esteem sangat? Biarlah dia nak fikir apa pasal aku. Daddy pun dah selalu marah sebab i'm thinking too much about what others feel. Yes daddy, you're so right. I wish i could be more like you. I try to be tough daddy, I try to be strong. I try to think like you think. You're right. Buat apa fikir sangat pasal orang. Bukannya we'll see each other forever and ever. Nanti dah ikut laluan masing-masing. I hate myself when this thing happens. I feel so stupid. So weak. So useless. Dah dah. Focus la weyh. Focus. Focus. Nanti tak dapat fly baru nak nangis ke?
Geram. Geram sangat. Bengong terasa otak ni.

Salam to all.

It was a year and three months ago. Madinah will always be the place that I will remember forever. But, well, every meeting will have an end and after spending just two days and two nights in Madinah Al- Munawwarah, we had to leave for Mekah. 15 months is a long time so I hope that you will not expect me to tell the stories in detail, like what I told you in Part Wahid , Part Ithnani , Part Thalathah , and Part Arbaah. (Please take note: The pictures are not in chronological order and not properly grouped.. Sorry~)

My mom and my sis in front of the Masjid Nabawi.

Masjid Nabawi. Alhamdulillah, we got to perform Friday Prayers there. The khutbah was given in Arabic and based on my already rusty Arabic, I think the khutbah was about marriage.. Since I couldn't understand 98% of the khutbah, I let my eyes wonder in an attempt to capture as much memory as possible about this very special Masjid. I did sneak in my camera (I put it in the shoe bag because the 'Askar' didn't check that.. They just look through handbags) and took two pictures of the Masjid's interior.

This is the lobby of our hotel.

The streets in Madinah.

The place where they print Al-Quran. Women are not allowed to enter the factory and so we went straight into the Quran Store. Ayah Mie, my dad and Naim followed the Quran Printing tour and at the end of the tour, each of them got a free Quran Tafsir. (Tak aci betul~)

Masjid Qiblatain. Due to time constraint, we just can see it from our tour bus. I really wanted to see how a masjid can have two qiblats, but then again, I think of it as just another reason to come here again.

Masjid Qiblatain, from a different angle.

I didn't expect to see waterfall in this hot place, haha.

If I'm not mistaken, this is Masjid Firdaus.

Somewhere near Jabal Uhud.

This is not Jabal Uhud. As far as I can remember, our tour guide told us that the building at the top of the hill is the King's palace. And take note of the hillls. They are solid rocks with no trees unlike the hills in Malaysia.. Their hills are of hard stone inside and out, a big difference from ours which mostly made up of soil. And during the tour, the Ustaz said that it kinda reflects the heart of the Arabs. Allah had placed the Ustaz of all Ustaz, Rasulullah PBUH in the land of the Arabs, because Allah knows they will physically go against Islam. But what the people of Tanah Melayu (Melaka) got was only the Arab Muslim merchants.. You get what I mean?

Inside the Quran store. You can find Tafsir Al-Quran in a lot of languages, Al-Quran printed in various sizes and Al-Quran in special boxes.

This is the biggest one that I could find. This one is like the one we have in Raudhatul Muttaqien, where during Ramadhan, the Imam (Ustaz and students alike) would read from it during prayers. Oh, I miss you Ramadhan and Langkawi!

Picture taken when our family wanted to place an order. Mama Shima bought the biggest Quran and I bought the Quran Tafsir in Bahasa Indonesia. No Bahasa Malaysia version was available..