A Journey Beyond The Logical Mind

Salam to all.

You might want to take this advice...

It's all about what's inside the thing between your ears.

Salam to all.


It's just something that I don't really have when I need it. 


Yup, I'm sombong at times. Haha. Most of the times. 

of separation.

The place once called home :)

Salam to all.


What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive.

Salam to all.


Just came back from futsal. Today everyone played wonderfully, Aisyah scored a nice goal. :)


But I was awful throughout the game, URGH!


There's at least three chances for me to score but I blew it. :((


Sorry teammates! 


I have this problem of mind-blankness when I got the ball and it's just sheetingly stupid. And I also got nervous when people wants to steal the ball. 


Yesterday was a better game, although it was quite slow at the beginning. 


Ahhh, this musn't continue!!!!!! maybe I need my teacher? :(


THE SPIRIT MUST NOT DIE!!!


// Every people make mistake. Foolish people repeats it. 


Yeah. 

Salam to all.


Farah, to Welly.
Dilip, to Banting.
Irfan, to Kay Elle. 


Me?


I miss all of them already. 


:(

Salam to all.


Alhamdulillah, in my FIRST week of holiday, I am happy to say that the FIRST semester exam of my FIRST year in my FIRST university and in my FIRST year of being far far away from my family for the FIRST time is FIRSTLY and foremost, over. 


Basically, MCQs are so so hard in both Pop 111 and Biosci (well, those were the only two with MCQs)~ But seriously, susah giler.


I screwed up mostly on muscle and pop 111's graph. 


But Alhamdulillah, (I think~) I can answer some of the other questions.


Chem, after doing 5 past years (fuh, semangat, Dr. Brittain should be proud la kan?), alhamdulillah, (I think) I can answer the first few pages. But when it comes to the acid anhydride thingy (or was that ester?? shoot! =.=') I was totally like totally lost. 


Pop 101, alhamdulillah, quite okay as in no 'surprise' question that resulted in reactions like "Oh God, when did I learn this thing?" "For God's sake, how to even pronounce this?" "Err, erm, what's the meaning of this term again?". Alhamdulillah. But!! I was sooo enjoying myself scribbling notes, I ran out of time to actually write it. T.T Not all of them but still, I can foresee some marks will go bye bye. (nauzubillah!!)


So now?


Holiday yeay!


Not really. I don't know how to spend my holiday wisely. That's really a big problem for me.


Let's see.


Saturday, 19th June.
Last exam (Pop 101).
Prayed Asar at Tamaki's corridor. 
Took a train home.
Dinner at Khyber!! :)
Watched Holland-Japan match but stopped halfway. zzzz~


Sunday, 20th June.
5 am: Walked Farah to bus stand.
Futsal mania. 
Some guys played deadly handballs at Rec Centre.
Helped Irfan do some shopping with Aisyah, Yazmin and Naim.
Pizza time! at O'Rorke.


Monday, 21st June.
Experiments with Florent. VERY INTERESTING! InsyaAllah I'll write about it.
Futsal mania 2.
Met Karen.
Bruncinner (is there such word? It's Breakfast + Lunch + Dinner btw) at (where else?) Angies.
Discovered some 'lost treasures' inside O'Rorke's fridge. haha. 


InsyaAllah:
Trip to airport. haha. 
First live Rugby match.
Ski trip. 


Of all the 'exams', the hardest is when I can't even see the 'exam'. 


It's just so hard, I always always fail. Again and again.


Please ya Allah, I don't want to be strayed from your path.
Please ya Allah, I don't want to be in your anger.
Please ya Allah, I know You can hear me, I know You know my every thought, I know You know my every intention ya Allah, please ya Rahman, please ya Rahim, please ya Tawwabur Rahim, please ya Samiun Aliim, please ya Ghafurrur Rahim, please guide me and all the persons I love, every second, every action, every intention. 


I am weak ya Allah, I failed a lot of times. 
I know what I do is wrong ya Allah but I'm not strong enough to fight.
Please, take us back ya Allah.
Please, take us back ya Allah.
Please, take us back ya Allah. 


If I can take that feeling out of my heart like people remove cancer cells from their body ya Allah, I would do that, and slice it thinly, again and again and burn the feeling. For, as far as I can see, that feeling is a potential killer to me. 


But that's your 'exam' to me right ya Aliim, ya Hakiim? 


You give me Islam, health, knowledge, loving, healthy and sufficient family, wonderful friends, dedicated teachers, good food, good money and everything, and you test me to see if I'm grateful or not. 


But I always forget.


Forget to say Alhamdulillah. Forget to appreciate every colour I can see, every sound I can hear, every food I can eat, every thorns I can touch, every smell I can smell. 


You've blessed me with the best of the best things that could have happened. 
Alhamdulillah.


But you also test me on something else.


You test me on the 'inside' every single passing day.


You test me again and again, to see if I can fight the feelings of Riya', Insincere, Dishonest, and other attributes of Mazmumah. And the feeling of Love for someone who's not worthy of it. That's the hardest. 


Ya Allah, university exams are nothing compared to those exams you give me. 


They're not only unseen, they're endless, no specific time, no specific halls, no specific syllabus, no instant result, nothing!


They come as You will and go as You will. 


Please ya Allah, help us with these exams. Help us, Guide us, Take us to Your straight path. 


Amiin. 

Salam to all.


Today I:


Sneaky Mickey to switch the lights on.
Walked Farah to the bus stand with Irfan.
Played futsal yippie!
Bruched at Ayuttaya although I ordered Roti Naan. Serious mahal.
Lepak-ed a little bit at my room.
Went to Kak Iffah's.
Souvenir-hunting for Irfan with Aisyah, Yazmin and Naim. 
Pizza-ed at my room with some steak sponsored by O'Rorke.
Surfed the web with no main aim. 
Futsal-ed at the hallway. 
Skyped Mom and Dad and Mimi (and Romeo?). God, I miss them a LOT.
Sleepy-head-ing while typing these words. 


I miss their hugs. :(


Especially Romeo Mom and Dad. And Mimi. And Romeo. Serious Romeo.


Where's Naim?


Hmmm.. 

Salam to all.


I don't have to remind you that I always post something here when I'm so-called depressed.


Haih.


My exam is in three days. Biosci and Pop 111. And Chem soon after.


Been 'sumbat-ing' chemical formulae into my brain cells over the weekend and today covered immune system.


Deep breath.


I am not entirely depressed about exam. 


I think I need human contact. I'm trapped in my room since this morning. And it's just sad not to see and feel the outside world. Fuyyo ayat. 


Urgh.


Okay, I will spit it out. I miss malaysian food. You know, the thing we called, REAL FOOD?


Fortunately for me, I have Angie's Kitchen, a Malaysian restaurant, in front like sooooo in front of my hostel. UNfortunately for me, the price is just so CRAZY for me to eat there every week, let alone every day. 


I've eaten there last Friday, and now's Monday and now's June which means my Mara allowance's gonna only fill my pocket in two months time. 


Yes, I do gain a LOT of weight, which is an irony because the whole thing above kinda suggest that I don't eat a lot. 


I feel a little little little bit better now. Pity you my dear bloggy, I only see you when I'm sad. Aww.


I miss Langkawi. A lot. 


Why do I miss Langkawi more than Taylors?


I don't know. Maybe because I sleep, eat, study, laugh, cry, gossip?, pray, play and enjoy my time there. 


I miss you my Langkawi.

Salam to all.


I can feel the distance. Building. Day by day.


Chicken.


Urgh.