A Journey Beyond The Logical Mind

Just want to let you guys know that my grandmother's brother had passed away yesterday of a motorcycle accident. May Allah place him alongside his faithful and blessed servants. I would greatly appreciate all of us read 'Al-Fatihah' for him. Thank you.

This incident brought back the memory of my late grandfather who died ten days after celebrating 2005's Eid Al-Fitri. It was totally unpredictable.

It was past 9 p.m that night. All of us were watching TV as usual. Laughing at the jokes and enjoying the show...

My mum's cell phone rang.

I was wondering who could be calling us at this hour?

My mom picked up the phone and went outside, to get better reception. She was talking with a serious note, as I glanced once in a while at her.

She then put her phone down and turned to us.

"Tok ayah pengsan." or in English, "Tok Ayah fainted" she said.

At that moment, my body froze. I couldn't stop but keep thinking of the worst... I always do that.. My heartbeat raced, I can feel my blood pressure rising. I wanted to ask my mom some questions, but it didn't come out.

My mom quickly called my dad who was on his way to KL that night. Over the phone, my father said he will be heading home soon and cancel his business trip.

My mother was silent. I was silent. Even my noisy brother was silent. It was as if we were stupefied. All of us looked at the floor, although there was nothing really to see...

All of a sudden, my mom's cell phone rang again.

This time, my grandfather had passed away.

That was the first time a relative that I am close with passed away. And as I am typing this, I can still recall that fateful night and that same feeling I had still hasn't changed. My heart is beating quite fast...

We went to my grandmother's home nearly an hour and a half later. We were joined by my uncle and his family who lived in Penang too.

I usually enjoyed travelling during the night, but that particular night was not one of it.

It made me realise how small we are. How we can't predict when we will be called to see the Lord. How little my deeds are and how much wrongdoings I have committed. But, as a normal human being, that feeling only lasted for some while....

Now, there's another one of my family members that had been called by Allah, the moment we least expected it. And I reflected my deeds and wrongdoings again... How little am I...

I hope I will become a better Muslimah each day, and I prayed the same to you. May we all implement the moral of this true story and improve our ibadah everyday.